The end is nigh! The end of the year and decade that is, which means the media plagues us not only with ‘Best of 2009!’ recaps, but ‘Best of the ’00s!’ as well. Oh joy. For this reason, I refuse to make any sort of list deeming what I like as the necessities from a certain measure of time and be all “omigosh, you don’t know this band that I love and think everyone else should listen too, except I really don’t because if they get too big I won’t listen to them anymore?”
I am honestly not up with the times considering my age. I’m 21, don’t know anything about Twilight (other than I should be proud of this fact and the pasty guy from Harry Potter is in it), don’t own an iPod, only realized several months ago that Miley Cyrus IS Hannah Montana, and it takes me ten minutes to send a text message. In an effort to be hip, I looked at one of the dreaded lists to see the Top 10 most popular songs this year as chosen by AOL users (people still use AOL?) and decided to give them a listen. But then I got bored/thought most of the songs were crap so I searched Youtube for alternate versions of them instead. Now I share with you the efforts of my time wasting.(We can’t embed videos directly on the blog so I searched the song titles and used my favourite picture results for you to click on to view my findings)
10. ’Watcha Say’ by Jason Derulo

[This is just a still from the actual video, but it’s super sassy (UN UH, GIRL), so I like it.]
Of course I was not familiar with this song, but I most certainly did know the Imogen Heap song it samples (*cough* steals with permission so they don’t have to come up with their own interesting chorus *cough*). Unfortunately, thanks to The OC (and subsequent mockery on SNL), I associate this song with shooting people. The version I found is by an all guys a cappella group whose falsetto section can sing higher than me, and I was a Soprano 1 in chorus (jealous?). I also enjoy the soloist’s stance and hand gestures, they say, “Yes, I may wish I was on ‘Glee,’ but I can still look like I have street cred. But only if it’s on Main Street, the side streets are a tad dodgy.”
9. ‘Fireflies’ by Owl City

(This is a picture from the anime ‘Grave of the Fireflies,’ which my flatmate made me watch once. It’s terribly depressing and doesn’t have little talking animals or girl superheroes who save the world with the power of friendship like most anime.)
The first time I heard this song, I thought, “This is cute, who is it? The Postal Service?” Naturally, this track was then suddenly EVERYWHERE and became one of those tunes people violently hate or people freak out, turning the radio up to deafening levels like it’s not on every six freaking songs. I don’t dislike the song, though it’s boring and a tad generic, but I am sick of hearing it. One of it’s flaws is that DJs are bound to play it at school dances, yet you can’t quite dance to it. Too slow to dance normal, too electro-y to slow dance to. Yet I found a video of one guy trying to dance to it, but he ends up just looking like a crazy person spazzing out with a pillow. I imagine Linus from Peanuts and his blanket have moments like this.
8. ‘Right Round’ by Flo Rida
(Note: I only just made the connection now that Flo Rida is Florida with a space in it. I immediately looked it up and yes, he’s from Florida. Mind officially blown.)Oh hey, another rap song utilizing a former hit and making gobs of money off it. The only upside to this particular one is I imagine that Flo Rida had to meet with Pete Burns from Dead or Alive to get the rights. If you were not aware, Pete Burns is now a very terrifying looking woman. The thought of those two having tea and chatting music makes me smile. Almost as much as the speed up, chipmunkified version of this song. Almost.
7. ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’ by Kelly Clarkson

(All that came up when I searched the song title was the horribly Photoshopped album cover for this single, so I asked myself what my life would suck without and this is the extremely pathetic answer.)
I have no opinion on this song, honestly. Only the fun fact that my friend’s car brake squeaks to the exact same tune as the chorus. For my video choice, I decided to delve into the many AMVs made using this song. An AMV is an animated music video, aka people with too much time piecing together their favourite cartoons in a way that slightly fits the song. Sadly, I know the cartoon in this particular one, it’s a weird Canadian programme about some sort of ‘reality show’ about high school stereotypes that my flatmates and I in Australia only watched because it was the only thing on (only four channels in Oz) when we usually ate lunch. As I recall, the two characters in this AMV never had any sort of relationship other than the shrimpy kid having an unrequited crush on the goth chick, so I don’t know why they chose to use this instead of the more obvious ‘You Belong to Me’ or some emo song.
6. ‘Use Somebody’ by Kings of Leon

(This is Matthew Followill, the lead guitar player from Kings of Leon. I love him more than a lifetime supply of Pop Tarts, and oh lawd, I could use him alright…)
I’ve had a long time infatuation with Kings of Leon and could go on for ages about how awesome they are and unlike some of their fans who have been there from the start, am glad they’ve FINALLY found success in the US. As one of the two songs on this list I actually enjoy, I’m not going to link to some Youtube jackass I found warbling in an attempt to sound like Caleb and instead I present the only suiting cover by the equally wonderful Bat for Lashes.
5. ‘I Gotta Feeling’ by The Black Eyed Peas

(This pretty much sums up what the song is about. The part where Fergie shouts “CRUUUUNK!” is officially the worst second in music history.)
I despise this song. I really, really do not like it at all and wish the Black Eyed Peas would disappear for another four years like they did last time. They have millions of dollars and can afford to just leave me alone. The official video makes the track even worse, if that’s possible. The version I found is genius (done in one continuous shot!) and if the Black Eyed Peas did anything like this for their videos I would respect them so much more.
4. ‘Pokerface’ by Lady Gaga

Remember how I said I liked two of the ten songs on this list? This is the other one. Yes, it shocks me too. Lady Gaga is undeniably catchy and weird, much like Amy Winehouse and Dolly Parton, my other two obsessions I have no idea why I’m so infatuated with. I was tempted to use the video of Christopher Walkin reading the lyrics (google it if you’re one of the twelve people who hasn’t seen it), but instead opted for the geeky parody. Nerd boys,this one’s for you.
3. ‘Replay’ by Iyaz

(These boots are just as poorly made as this song!)
The only way to make bad pop or rap songs sound good is to have a cute ukulele player cover it. The geeky boys had their song already, this one’s for my nerdettes out there. When he says, “Well, hello friends!” in the beginning, I literally swoon.
2. ‘Down’ by Jay Sean

Jay Sean, Sean John, and Sean Kingston should do a song together, the ‘Sean Song’ (Sean Sha Sean Sean Shawwwwn)! During the Thanksgiving Day parade, Jay Sean “sang” from one of the floats, I didn’t know who he was, yet my Mom did. She has also seen Li’l Bow Wow in concert. I wish I was joking. Unlike the other covers I’ve shared with you today, I found one that somehow makes this song even worse, but significantly more hilarious. HARDXCORE BRO. Game suggestion: Play this video at a party and see which of your friends can stand listening to it for the longest.
1. ‘You Belong with Me’ by Taylor Swift

(Yo Taylor, imma let you finish, but there were way better songs this year than yours to be at Number One, just sayin’…)
The video is quite sweet, though again not so original (a recurring theme in 2009 music) and Taylor seems like a very nice person, but I’m baffled as to how this is the supposed cream of the crop. I’ve accepted that it’s mostly teenage girls buying music and therefore composing these lists, so there’s unfortunately nothing we can do about it. They are an unstoppable force. 2009 was also the year TV turned digital, remember that? It was a huge breakthrough in technology! No? Oh, you probably got rid of that space in your brain with the names of all of Tiger Wood’s mistresses. Ah, 2009. Well, here’s an overly enthusiastic middle-aged man singing a song by a 19-year-old girl with his own lyrics about the digital conversion.
Have a happy 2010, everyone! Let’s hope it’s not like what Arthur C. Clarke envisioned.