Has Henry Thomas’ character survived a single movie since E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial?

No, really…

It must be the heat of that sweet sweltering summer sun, but it seems that all my conversations lately turn to relationships.  How to get em, how to keep em and how to avoid em.  So, it should have come as no shocker that on a recent night out a beloved old friend-o uttered the words “I was curious!”  About what?  The butt?  Niet.  Ashleymadison.com.  Some of you old swinging marrieds may be hip to this scene, but it was the first I’d heard of the site who’s slogan is “Affairs ‘R Us.”  Call me naïve, I always just assumed that if you wanted to cheat on your spouse your options were limited to slipping off the ring of bliss and slipping into a bar (or myspace).  Apparently not.  This site was set up for spouses who are looking for the nookie.  Who is stupid enough to do this!  Seriously, peeps, you’ve got to have the mental capacity of Forrest f-ing Gump not to realize that this is a trap set up by second rate private dicks.  Is this what the internet has devolved to?  Is this the lowest of the low?  Not quite…

It seems that after your spouse finds the chunky highlight, plastic shoe, red lipstick wearing trashionista of their dreams there’s a place for you too.  Sugardaddy.com – the site where the old and fat go to spend money on the young and loose moraled.  Sometimes it’s not even about the sex!  A friend of mine has used this site, met a lawyer, got free legal advice for life and didn’t even have to give it up!  Is this common?  Who knows, there’s some lonely, fat bastards out there and a steak dinner is only an email away!  (if you’re a gay, never fear, just pony up to seekingarrangements.com and get your arrangement sought)

Finally, when you find out your significant other has found another, where do you turn (that’s right they have one for that too) outofyourlife.com.  This is where they ask the age old question “you’re too good for him, are you too good for his jewelry?”  They even have an FAQ page with guidelines on “who owns the ring.”  Hell, with the all the sleaze at your fingertips is it any wonder it’s only a matter of time for roughly 1/3 of the couples in America?

So what do you think?  Interweb: relationship starter or killer OR just plain killer (period)?  Is this too deep for a Friday afternoon?  Discuss.

I just can’t say no to Arianna Huffington. I’ll be recapping Project Runway this year on the Huffington Post, but I’ll be sure to keep posting about dumb fashion here.

5) Kim Jong-Il II

I am sure you have seen for yourselves and sensed how the Korean people feel towards the United States here in our country… @MarkeyMark Though I must admit, your performance in The Happening almost made me pardon your country.

4) Mark Wahlberg

@KimJongsBong Say hi to your mother for me. Maybe a role on entourage would make amends?

3) Werner Herzog

@ Markymark @ KimJongsBong You are all wrong! No amends! the common denominator of the Universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility and murder!

2) Morrissey

@ KimJongsBong I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.

1) Blanket Jackson 

@ Moz Agreed. It’s my only visible attribute!

Not this one.

This one!

I just wanted to throw this out there. I am moving into this sweet-ass house which comes equipped with 3 fireplaces, is in walking distance to the metro-north (a comfy 30 mins train ride to midtown manhattan), has a back yard and gardens, and is all-round redonk. My friend described it as “part Harry Potter, Part Flowers in the Attic, kinda spooky, kinda lovely.” I think that’s a pretty accurate description. We want a third room mate. More significantly, we want a third roommate who rules.  We’re hoping for someone mid 20’s to early 30’s, and if you’re a dude you have to be especially not creepy. If you are a good fit, or know of anyone who fits this bill, please pass it on! Also, you can’t be allergic/hateful towards animals… send me an email if you’d like to come seeee! (randomizer @ popserious . com 

Hey all, I’m planning on collecting for these guys. Please let me know if you have anything you can donate!

OK, I’ve been noticing a strange trend lately, and am wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

Since the blessed advent of tivo, I’ve started recording every “comedy central presents” that plays during the day. Usually, the station plays three in a row. And when I retire to the bed room to find some hilarity each night, I’ve started to pick up on a trend. Generally, if a white comedian is performing, the next two episodes will also be white. If a black comedian is performing, the next two comedians performing will also probably be black. Has anyone else noticed this? Why do you think comedy central does this? It happens so frequently that it’s doubtful that it’s coincidence.

 HMMM?

Nikki-d and me grew up together in a little-known town called Hastings-on-Hudson (That’s Nicole Lee to the rest of the world, still can’t remember where the d came from… I was Elly-Bows… we were 8.) While we both liked drawing ponies in the third grade, only one of us had the artistic skills to make the creature look like it was going to jump out of the page at you. The little Picasso that she was, Nikki-D spent all day drawing everything in front of her, while we all watched, jaws dropped, at whatever masterpiece was being developed with her crayola colored pencils.

Anywhoo, it makes me happy to no end to know that today, in her mid-twenties, Nikki-d is still at the art thing out in Cali, making magic happen, being an exhibition director at a sweet gallery where it is warm and sunny.

Check out Art space 404!

Boingboing had a post today about a fish with see-through brains and crazy green eyes. Did you hear that? brains? visible to the naked eye? Also, he is maybe the cutest fish of all time.  So, out of love, great respect, and a leetle bit of free time, I went ahead and bedazzled the shit out of him. Behold! Feeeeesh!

Check him out here.

First, just a little reminder since it’s been a while:

Tobias Fünke: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.

— 

Tobias Fünke: Dont leave your uncle teabag hanging.
George Michael Bluth: Dont call it that.

—

 Gob: If I didn’t have a live dove in my pants right now, I’d leap across the table and…
[he unzips his pants]
Gob: Ah, what the hell…
Michael: I think that’s just as good of a time as any to end the meeting.

—

Lucille Bluth: Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out?
Gob: She’s not “*that* Mexican,” Mom, she’s “*my* Mexican.” And she’s Colombian or something.

—

Lindsay Funke: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want the belt to buckle, not your chair.
[server sets a dessert of Bananas Foster on fire]
Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay Funke: That’s funny, ’cause I was gonna say “You might wanna lean away from that fire since you’re soaked in alcohol.”
Lucille: Mine was better.
ANYWAY. Arrested Development, the movie, is officially happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, Bestweekever.tv posted this chalk drawing. Almost as mindblowing. Click to enlarge.