When I can’t make sentences, I just make puzzles…

ARTICULATE, GESTICULATE, EMULATE, IRATE, SYNCOPATE, GYRATE, POPULATE, CHEESEPLATE, BLINDDATE, ORCHESTRATE, GUESSTIMATE, PROSTRATE, URANUS, RHOMBUS, CAULK, BUNCH, BURN, TURN, LEARN, OUST (air sanitizer), TAUNT, TAINT, PEAK, HUB, RUB, ALTO, CUM (as in Cum Laude), ARIA, BUNT, GURU, AMASS.

Have fun!

Last month my business partner, Zoe came here from LA and we had this totally magnificent party at Caravan for our clothing line, THESETHREETHINGS. We just make 3 things every season. So the name isn’t clever, but the concept behind it is (if I do say so myself).

For Fall 08 we made jackets. Our buddy Poker shot a bunch of footage of Zoe, her big sis Sibyl and Sib’s daughter Puma trying on the things and being an awesome family. He then edited it all together and here is the adorableness.

A Catbird’s Dangerous Story

And here are some other pics from the party!

Me and Z in our spring things

Buddies: Shandi, Mark, & Zoe modeling the Fall ‘08 collection.

Ladies of the hour: Mamie, MS, Zoe, Grace & me

Ellen modeling one of our jackets

And the female wrestler who randomly showed up during her 15 minutes of fame after her episode on Project Runway. Then she totally ran away after she heard Ellen talking about her. Boo-ya!

A Few months ago I renounced fashion. I was done. The industry didn’t “get me” and I got sick of the superficiality.

Then something sparked (aka: a great new job) and now I’m back. Back with avengence! I still refuse to buy designer clothes, don’t care about models, and probably won’t ever memorize couture looks BUT I have remembered why I got into the game to begin with.

The thing is- I’ve always hated fashion. But I will forever be in love with style. My academic experience (and subsequent life) has been spent studying the ways people silently communicate their identity via visual representation, i.e: choices in clothing, accessories, hairstyle, etc. We all get dressed in the morning, and make decisions about what we are going to put on. Even if you don’t care one iota about fashion, you’re still saying something about yourself in your lack of adornment. Especially in a city like New York where we make so many fast decisions your clothing has to say something about YOU. Your style is an at-a-glance summation of your outward persona.

This visual language has always existed. Historically people people have dresses with regard to their societal stature or profession. For instance, in the military, your decorations state your standing, accolades. Theoretically you look at a soldier in uniform and you know his standing. Movies and television further defined these visual codes. Nerds wear classes. Cool guys wear leather jackets. Sluts show skin. Blondes are dumb. Serious people wear suits just like hicks wear cut-offs. These are considered visual truths in the media. It’s my job and my mission to build new codes and definitions for our evolving generation.

Enough mumbo-jumbo. I could talk/ write about this all day. But instead I’ll introduce this awesome website that I just came across. You can put together “looks” on the computer just like Cher from Clueless!! I made this one:

It’s really fun. It’s kind of like Jenny’s animal maker, but for clothes whores. You can look at other people’s pictures and click on any item to find out where you can buy it online. It’s pretty super freakin awesome.

I’m so exhausted from the last couple weeks that my brain isn’t really functioning properly right now. Maybe yours is?

(click to enlarge, then print)

Word List:

ENTOURAGE, DECOUPAGE, SABOTAGE, FROMMAGE, GARAGE, GURDLE, THIGHMASTER, ANDROID, PINGPONG, CENSOR, BOOB, SOULPATCH, SOULTRAIN, SLUTFACE, GYRO, ERGO, EMOTE, SWAGGER, TOUCH, GRAB, POTTY, POTTY (Yes, twice), SOCKHOP, SKATER, GEODE, RATTAN, BALM, GLADE (brand air fresheners), AGRA (city in India, home of the Taj Mahal), HERR(‘s brand potato chips)

Good luck!

Here I re-answer questions submitted to Seventeen Magazine with sensitivity, maturity and wisdom.

Q: “Can you get pregnant from pre-ejaculate?”

A: FINALLY! A return to the old school questions! What happened to the day when Seventeen (erm) readers (?) would write in with questions like “If I make eye contact with a boy in a hot tub while I have my period, could I get pregnant?” OR “I had a dream I wanted ice cream and pickles, does that mean I’m pregnant?” OR “I have braces, if I kiss a boy with braces while on the equator, will we be magnetically attached by the mouth for life?”

Ah, those were the good old days of Seventeen Magazine questions. But to answer your question- sure, anything is possible.

To my precious phrends:

Profuse praises for pulling off the most prodigious and perfect party on the planet.
You are all primo peeps, I pheel phortunate to have such a piquant plethora of pals!
You’re presence was a present, and I ‘ppreciate you profusely.

Phreakin love you!

Quinn

Since it’s a holiday and most people aren’t working… take a little brain time so you don’t get rusty.

(click to make it bigger and print)

Word list:

BEERBONG, DRAT, STALE, TONY DANZA, ABSORB, WELD, ORGANZA, YO!, EYE, BEGGIN STRIP, ARC, BEAN, AGILE, CORN, SPA, ARISTOCAT, GAT, START, NOBLE, YETI , LYNCHMOB, TESTICULAR, GUSTO, CZAR, OODLE, BESPECLED, RAGE, LUAU, TARDY, AUGMENT, ARCANA, TUBULAR, TWEEN, WRITE , RAD, RHETORIC, AXIS, PSEUDONYM , DRUM, ELEGY, TAIL

If you got this email?…

“Let’s go somewhere this fall - you pick the place- about a week - anywhere on earth … subject to your busy schedule… give me a list, multiple choice, and why (10 words or less)”

I got this email from my Dad in August, and that was the beginning of the best journey of my life!

A Little background info: my Dad rules. He’s been everywhere, is interested in everything and everyone loves him. He also works constantly. Ever since I was a kid we would take special “daddy and me” trips all around the world. It had been 9 years since our last adventure, so it was due time we went somewhere for a little inspiration and reconnection. This time, after a weekend with the Dalai Lama, we were both on the path to enlightenment and decided to go to BHUTAN!

After a few days in India we made, a crazy landing through the mountains and arrived in the happiest place on earth. (eF Disney world. These people are for real stoked). I immediately fell in love with the national uniform.

Plaid robes with knee socks! That’s the uniform for men, while the ladies wear a plaid sheet pinned up with some big metal broaches. If you’re Bhutanese and not wearing the clothes you could get a ticket. It’s also illegal to smoke ciggies in public. Clean cut AND happy-go-lucky!

Since 1972 the Bhutanese have had a movement toward Gross National Happiness, literally making Bhutan the most jovial joint in the east- It’s also among the most beautiful because (within the last few hundred years) it hasn’t been too tussled up by outsiders so most of their temples, homes, and natural environment are fully intact. The people there live modestly- they have minimal technology and they respect tradition… you’d think maybe it was the 3rd world, but it’s not. It’s another world- it’s the 4th world. Like the 4th dimension.

We spent our first night in Thimphu, the capital, the metropolis.

(The King lives in one of those normal little houses, just like a totally normal dude)We spent most of our time in Bhutan visiting temples, museums, going on hikes, eating chili peppers in cheese sauce with red rice AND doing what we do best- shopping.

Here is glimpse of a roadside mini-mall we encountered while hiking, err, horseback riding up a mountain to an amazing temple in the middle of a mountain that was built by a guy who flew there on a tiger. True story.

I could go on forever … and ultimately I will…. But I’m gonna break it down. So, tune in next time for more awesome pics of the ridonkulous wonderfulness that is Bhutan!

To be continued…

P.S. A Bhutanese horsie for Ellen, and some Indian monkeys for Sarah.

One day in 2002, on a college campus in upstate New York a fight broke out- a heated, raucous, semi-violent fight. A fight over guacamole- and who does it better. See, everyone on earth (including you) thinks that they make the best guacamole in the world. This can’t be true and to settle the dispute, one Miss Jocelyn Maron challenged the masses to the first ever GUAC-OFF.

The guac-off was a huge success, but conjured more questions. Who makes the best party dip?… DIP OFF! What about cocktails? COCK-OFF! And so on…

In 2008, Six years after the original dip-off all parties in the know were challenged to a rematch. With six years of thought, experience and training, there was no question that at this “-OFF” the pressure was “ON”!

Upon arrival I was designated as the “Paula”, if you will, due to my faux topical expertise and speech slurring. (I was also the only single person there, and didn’t bring a dip… thereby making me the only impartial party person in the hizzy)

To get it going Jocelyn read the formal instructions, announcing all criteria on which the dips would be judged. They include:

1. presentation

2. taste

3. consistency

4. creativity

5. accessibility (ease of chip, carrot, pita, what have you into the dip)

All in all there was ELEVEN entries! There was: Queso, Talapia Ceviche, Crab dip, Marshmallow fruit dip, Butterscotch dip, Mexican seven layer dip, Red pepper goat cheese, Buffalo chicken wing dip, Babba ganoush (side note: This was made by my friend Summer who spent last year in Palestine. She informed us that you don’t pronounce the “sh” on the end of ganoush, FYI!), Swiss cheese almond, and Bacon double cheese dip.

After all the judging criteria was thoroughly explained and each participant gave their Dip Pitch, us judges set to work

Here’s Heyward: party host, co-judge and Jocelyn’s main squeeze. Look how seriously he’s taking his job.

For better or worse us judges tried every single dip. Once we were done everyone else was allowed to partake, and we set to work on tallying scores and deliberating. Well, my co-judges tallied. I set to work on taking these gems.

Pose imitation photos. Sigh. My favorite.

Chewy likes to pah-tay.

Dramatic still life.

A lil’ sampler of Heyward’s fine art collection.

A photo of a photo of Jocelyn and Heyward as J-dawg and Mystery for Halloween. Love them.

Ok so, the scores were finally tallied and everyone gathered round while we announced the winners.

But it really doesn’t matter who won because at the end ALL the dips were devoured.

(My personal favorite was the ceviche. Shout out to Rachel and Jon. Yeah kozinscheistenheimer!)

At the end of the day my favorite dip will always be this one:

THAT SIGN SAYS YOUR NAME ON IT.

Alright, so. I have this clothing line with my buddy Zoe called THESETHREETHINGS. We are doing a fashion week presentation and it would be super awesome if you came to check it out!

It’s on THURSDAY FEBRUARY 7th

at CARAVAN
2 Great Jones St. between Broadway and Lafayette St.
from 5-7pm

(click the pic to make it bigger)

RSVP: root@thesethreethings.org
There will be complimentary beverages, if you know what I mean.