“And you thought Scott Baio Looked Orange“

My buddy just sent me this link.

SJP and Ponies alike are totally majestic, so yeah. I would take it as a compliment, sort of.

Employment Opportunities: you have to start somewhere…

1) Steven Tyler Halitosis Tester

2) Star Jones’ loose skin wrangler

3) Miley Cyrus chastity belt

4) Sharon Stone silencer

5) Shia the beef dookie catcher

During my afternoon snack of pistachios, I began to ponder: when did ‘nuts’ begin to mean ‘insane’?

Nuts are delicious and healthy (yes, yes, ball joke). But there is nothing spectacular or bizarre or even shocking about any nut I’ve ever tasted (settle down, Beavis). So how have these tasty, uninspiring niblets of protein come to represent an unstable, bizarre, or confused person? Is it that they are considered both fruit and seed? Is it their complex appearances? The way the flavor haunts your tongue?

I did a wee bit of googling and found this great Slate piece about it. Turns out it’s just a case of terminology evolution:

“People were nuts about nuts. In the late 19^th century, the British used “nuts” as slang for something they found enjoyable: Jack Straw would have been far from “nuts” on the idea of bombing Iran. (This usage may have originated in an old cliché—”sweet as a nut.”) Being nuts on something meant you really liked it, but so did being “crazy on something.” It’s possible that “nuts” became a synonym for “crazy” because of this similarity. In any case, Americans were the first to connect the two, in the early 20^th century.

The noun form “nut,” meaning “crazy person,” may have a different history. By the mid-1800s, nut was slang for head. If someone said you were “off your nut,” that would mean you were crazy.”

 NOTE: This is a highly theoretical post. This Web site and its author take no responsibility for any actions taken as a result of this piece. Or of anything. We are, in fact, highly irresponsible and it’s not our fault if you lose money based on something you read on the Internet. That means you’re an idiot, not us.  

Stressed out about high oil prices? Confused about the direction of gold prices? Don’t care about anything other than tonight’s season finale of “Lost”? Well there’s a way for you to make a couple of bucks anyway. You’ll need the following:

1. $14,243. Actually, make it more like $30,000 or $40,000 just to be on the safe side. I’ll explain that in a second.
2. An account with a commodities broker.
3. A lot of patience.
4. Balls of steel.

An explanation of what it’s all about and what to do after the jump:  Read the rest of this entry »

This was just emailed to me:

“FREE CAKE ALERT: Today from 11-2pm Gothamist broke the news late yesterday, and the details are confirmed on the Pillsbury Website… Today from 11am to 2pm on Park Ave. btw. 50+51st the Pillsbury Dough Boy will be giving out free slices of a gigantic cake shaped like the United States. It’s part of some sort of charity tour organized by Pillsbury, and as silly as the whole thing sounds, when free cake is involved, I try not to ask too many questions. [Pillsbury via Gothamist]”

I’m guessing the Pillsbury Charity is the “Keep America The Obesest Of All” Fund, or maybe the “Diabetus For Evvverbuddy” campaign? Hoo Hoo!

….or so say Bob Novak and Tim Carney in a recent blog post.

According to their piece, McCain will get 270 votes in the Electoral College versus Obama’s 268. That will make the 2000 Election look like Reagan’s landslide in 1984. For people like me who enjoy the sport of politics, this is going to be the most fun year I can remember in a long time. For people like you who think the world will actually change if either one of them gets elected, you’re gonna sweat some bullets. It’s much easier to be me than to be you. And, I’m also always right.

Oh, and by the way, Bob Novak is known as “The Prince of Darkness” but Tim Carney has a much more ominous title: John Carney’s little brother.

On a side note, did anyone catch Scott McClellan, former White House spokesman, on ”The Today Show” today? He recently wrote a book trashing the Bush Administration, its handling of the war and the whole Valerie Plame incident. He made a bried comment which I’ve heard from Democrats before and it’s something I’m becoming more convinced of: Barack Obama is the George W. Bush of 2008.  

As McClellan points out, George W. Bush campaigned on the same themes as Obama: being a uniter and not a divider, wanting to take government on a new course away the gridlock in Washington, and whatever sort of feel-good b.s. people need to hear before pulling down a lever. Bush often pointed out his ability to work with Democrats in Texas when he was governor and, as McClellan pointed out, that ability led to his 70% approval rating in the Lone Star State before he left office to become President. Once he got there, says McClellan, Bush and everyone around him got caught up in the partisan rancor that infests the Potomac ever since they rid the place of mosquitos by draining the swamp and called it D.C.

What makes you think Obama will be different? The answer: He’s not. You’re cheering for his label but, in the end, you’ll be getting the same results. So, sit back and enjoy the fight. The only thing anyone will actually change is the name of the person you’ll be fuming about.

I like it! She looks like Bernadette Peters circa “The Jerk” or something. There is a contest at Nylonmag.com to win Cory’s “hair stuff”, which, before this shoot, probably wouldn’t have been so appealing… Momentarily, I’m inspired to brush my hair… Meh, I’m sure it will pass.

Katherine Heigel plays Izzy, the character I’d like to Rochambeu the most on the best soap opera ever, Grey’s Anatomy. She has decided to capitalize on her role by creating designer scrubs for real doctors and nurses, or more likely, people who like to pretend to be doctors and nurses. Like me. I would totally buy a pair of these scrubs if it wouldn’t be contributing to Katherine/Izzy’s (the lines are becoming so blurred!) already overstuffed bank account. Denny Dukett would totally be turning over in his grave if he knew…

Source: BWE