From CNN’s soft-hitting news dept…

This is sure to be big in time for London 2012.

So the investor weekend went well (Thanks again everyone for dinner suggestions!!!). The best part of it, however, came on Saturday. We were visiting a very special lady to discuss and brainstorm our company plans.  Through the wooded hills of Connecticut we travelled, until reaching a great clearing of manicured bushes and lawns and a towering castle with doors tall enough to house a giraffe. Which we would soon come to find WAS to house a giraffe, a yearling by the name of Puzzles.

Upon our arrival into the entrance hall, filled with pictures of the lady and her zebras, owls, and foxes, she made a grand entrance, bringing along two primates for us to play with. I didn’t want to be too much of a tourist and take tons of pictures as we were there on business, but here was the cutest thing in the world, Bucky, a baby from the ape family. Most primates don’t like to look you in the eye, but this little guy sucked his thumb, hugged his teddy hard, and bored holes into your soul.

ya see?

There is nothing more New York preservationists love to do than throw embarrassing tantrums when richer, better looking people take over their sloppy ass neighborhoods. People actually have protests because wine stores and boutiques are opening where shells of squalid, condemned buildings used to stand. Currently the drama of Bowery gentrification is playing out in a neighborhood that was long overdue for a spitshine. Some people would rather preserve the “integrity” of an area-or in this case, a lack there of- just for the sake of keeping it the same. And while it pains me to see a Whole Foods rise like a gleaming glass middle finger from the grimy ashes of an old New York neighborhood, I also recognize that this had to happen eventually.
The history of the Bowery is indeed spectacular in a dark and dangerous way most of like to admire in the movies, or at least from several hundred yards away. The allure of this particular area, as with the Meatpacking District is the naive romanticizing of a poor, underused, neglected neighborhood overrun with crime and drugs and the derelicts that dabbled in both. Venturing out to posh stores and restaurants in a formerly seedy area gives people a powerful thrill of trespassing in a creepy environment while successfully leaving with their lives and an $800 pair of shoes.
Here is a fact: The Bowery has been a skid row since the Civil War, but remains one of the only double wide Boulevards in the entire city. I personally can’t believe it’s taken almost three centuries to figure out that it was prime real estate. 
As far as I’m concerned, the Bowery area is definitely culturally significant but I still can’t figure out what is worth preserving down there. Having lived in that area several years ago, I can tell you that besides some entertaining stories about “Bowery Boys” and Suicide saloons that existed 200 years ago, there was nothing charming or of actual value in that area. I think these protesting folks need to rent “Gangs of New York” to get their sepia toned New York Scorsese fix and get the hell over it.
However, I also think its natural for us to embrace the neighborhoods we adopt as our own. We don’t want to see the mom and pop shops give way to The Gap, we don’t want our local watering holes getting velvet ropes. Most importantly, we don’t want to see our neighborhoods change because we look to these places to define us. When cuter, wealthier, younger people move in with shinier things it just makes everyone feel like shit. Poor, fat, old shit. Everyone tends to get hysterical as soon as things begin to evolve, yet most of us have no real right to complain. Most of us are visitors, living in areas we helped alter one way or another. I have friends who are already bemoaning the changes in Williamsburg and Greenpoint, but the fact is they moved there 2 years ago. They are as much a part of the Brooklyn evolution as the pricks they loathe riding around in their Range Rovers, buying up old brownstones. I am really sure the Polish people who have lived there for the past 90 years really appreciated you moving in the neighborhood. I bet they all made a big potato vodka toast to the prospect of being overrun by 70,000 22 year olds. Major upgrade!
Cities are meant to change. It can’t make sense for the Lower East Side to remain frozen in time with kosher butcher shops and wholesale bra stores, because it is no longer about that in those parts. It is true that developers should treat these areas with respect to the past, but to expect that sentimentality is grounds for preservation is a bit babyish.
Change hurts. When I was in college, my grandmother cried when I cut my hair. But, change is still very necessary. That haircut got me an internship at a major magazine, where I once got to ride the elevator with JFK Jr.

Are we New Yorkers living in a giant, giant bubble? There were actually 200 people out there who took the time to complain about this mayo commercial? Geez. I’m going to go eat a more tolerant PBJ.

Exorcist Spider-Walk Doll!!! OHMAHGRIZZO. WantWantWant!!(source) 

Damn. Sometimes I wish I cared more about science, and last night was one of those occasions. You see, Sean, my boyfriend, is a science fanatic. He can watch hours and hours of those shows about how things are made or warfare science or big bang theories, etc, etc. Essentially, he likes to watch things that put me to sleep, which actually works out quite nicely because I always go to bed before him. But last night he was watching this outer space comet or whatever show, and they showed the fucking craziest substance I’ve ever seen in my life! I want to touch!!! Have you heard of Aerogel? It’s a bizarrely strong gas-silica complex that looks like if slimer and a light saber had a baby. Chances are I might be a little slow on the uptake on the creation of this but still. They use it to collect particles in outer space, which one scientist describes as “stopping bullets with straw”, and is really quite pretty-looking to boot.

PS, the show also said we were all made of comet and star dust. Isn’t that romantic?

She’s Crafty is your step-by-step guide to arts and crafts projects you can do for under $20.

This summer, impress all the other campers with your mad tie dye skillz.

You will need:

• a white t-shirt
• a tie dye kit ($13.64)

I like the Jacquard kit because it comes with all the goods, including soda ash to fix the dye. So you won’t end up with pink everything when you put it in the wash.

Lay the shirt out flat (in T-formation).  Put your fingers on the shirt and twist it into a flat, compact spiral shape. The final result should be about the same size and shape as a one-person pizza. Wrap it in rubber bands to keep the spiral intact.

Apply the dye in pizza-slice shapes and let the colors’ edges bleed together and mix. Use more dye than you think you’ll need, and smoosh the package together a little to make the dye soak into the folds.

Stay away from jam bands and hemp products while you wear it, or you could lose years off your life.

Source

This goes so much further outside the box from my attempts to create pharma meds. And uh, where do I sign up?

Thousands upon thousands of dollars spill from armored truck. Clearly, I need to get a rocking chair and porch in order to make this daydream happen. Though I wonder what kind of mass chaos would erupt if something like this went down in NYC.

See what to eat this week.

I haven’t been able to post much for the past few weeks because I’ve been traveling, so we have some catching up to do. Starting with these cute creations from the cruise I just took down to Puerto Rico, St. Maarten, and Haiti.

Is it me, or does this last one skew more creepy than cute?

While I didn’t get pictures of the infamous midnight buffet that these sculptures were displayed at…

I did get a picture of breakfast one morning.

Not a bad way to start the day.

EAT THIS: Chocolate Croissants on the Caribbean