I have a confession to make. I have been rewatching “The Sopranos” from start to finish. I am currently on episode 4 of Season 5. Remember Season 5? Tony and Carmela are estranged? We get to watch Johnny Sac take a shit? Aid meets her maker? The dude from “Big” who gives Tom Hanks a job is a major bad ass?

I don’t know what I loved about the show more–Edie Falco’s amazingly tacky matching outfits (replete with gaudy jewelry), Jim Gandolfini’s effed up nasal passages, Steve Van Zandt’s wig, or Lorraine Bracco’s inability to deliver ANY dialogue in anything but a monotone. (She’s good in two movies: “Medicine Man” with Sean Connery and of course, “Goodfellas.”) And let’s not forget Michael Imperioli’s unibrow.

I watched this show religiously in college and was very sad to see it go in a wave of Steve Perry, Catholic onion ring as communion wafer glory. I loved the violence, the profanity, the excellent music in the closing credits…I loved hating Jamie Lynn Sigler-Di Scala’s Italian American princess act. (If she could get into Columbia, I can win a Hawaiian Tropic contest.)

That being said, HBO took the success of this show and made superior shows with loads of the same writers and directors. I give you “Rome” and ”Deadwood”. Yes, I’m a dork. Yes, I am a history buff…but I think the major difference is the acting is superior. Ian McShane is spooj worthy. Polly Walker on “Rome” makes Edie Falco look like Andie McDowell. The leads on “Sopranos” are great—but the supporting thugs suck ass. Vito’s gay sub plot??? Uncomfortable. The actor doesn’t have the chops to pull it off. I love you, too, Johnny Cakes. Robert Iler as suicidal son? PUH-LEEZE. Snore.

(Even “Mad Men” was created by a former Sopranos writer and that show is the SHIT. Everytime I watch it, I’m compelled to buy a girdle, keep scotch at my desk and screw someone in the mail room. Sidenote: people on my floor at work were caught in the Monica/Bill pose a couple years back in the mail room/copy room…it was legendary.)

I want to be clear: I LOVE “The Sopranos”. It broke major ground in TV. It made fat gangsters sexy again. It made Route 17 in Lodi a place of worship (Satin Dolls, anyone?). I liked talking about it on Monday mornings at the water cooler.

The problem is HBO can’t find anything that is remotely as accessible as a mob family…so amazing shows like “Deadwood” and “Rome” go the way of the dodo because they’re expensive and lower in ratings.

HBO-help me out! You are still a master at importing funny comedians from the Antipodes (Summer Heights High, FOTC).

Now, find the next “Sopranos” or “Deadwood” or “Rome” or “Mad Men.” Stop canceling projects before they air! Help me out.

Love your biggest fan,

Chip Douglas, The Cable Guy

This entry (Permalink) was posted on Thursday, February 12th, 2009 at 1:50 pm and is filed under Brace Yourself, Bridget. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response , or trackback from your own site.