I don’t really see what’s wrong with it, though. I mean, you know how I feel about lamé leotards: SO FLATTERING. And also? The only thing that could make a girl’s muffin tops and saddlebags shine even BRIGHTER? Are horizontal stripes.

I’m going to American Apparel right now to snatch up as many of these babies as I can—maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get to see CEO Dov Charney fondle himself while I’m waiting at the register.

*True story: When I got my college roommate assignment it said only that Carolyn was from Pinehurst, NC and gave no address or phone number, which led me to believe that she was a backwoods hick who maybe lived in a tin hut on the side of a highway. So imagine my surprise when I showed up on the first day of freshman year to meet a drop-dead gorgeous French-Vietnamese-and-British goddess speaking in fabulous European tongues. (Turns out her mail was being sent to some grandparents in the States.) I bought all of my clothes from dELiA*s back then, including clown-like shoes with 3-inch rubber soles, and while I’m sure Carolyn made some fashion faux pas in our four years at college, I remember her as being effortlessly chic at all times. Anyway. Now Carolyn teaches yoga in Beantown and continues to be awesome.