I JUST LITERALLY THREW UP IN MY MOUTH.
We all know by now my feelings about Billy Corgan. So you can imagine my surprise when I heard this little shit nugget of information which just put me on suicide watch: Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan may possibly be an item. In a relationship. Having sex.
You know, I don’t really understand Billy’s taste in women. Everytime I think he’s gone and done it with one stupid hag or another he completely goes in an opposite, yet equally unattractive direction. (except for Helena Christensen, which I totally supported-if we can’t be together, he should at least be with a glamorous supermodel that is waaaaaay out of my league).
I can almost understand Courtney Love- she was probably a great source of drugs, and her antics most likely kept him laughing for days. I can MAYBE even wrap my head around Tila Tequila- who else will toss your salad and invite other girls along for the ride?
But Jessica?? A faded C-list 90’s pop star who slept with both Nick Lachey AND Bam Margera, which is basically equivalent to mixing white zinfandel and 100 proof Everclear??? I dont know what these two even TALK about!!!! Here’s a topic: How about the fact that you both were minimally popular for different reasons and are both totally and utterly uninteresting by today’s standards and the only thing about either one of you that is remotely REMOTELY interesting is that you are possibly touching genitals. So there!!!
Sorry Billy for being so harsh. Consider this an intervention.
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7 Responses to “I JUST LITERALLY THREW UP IN MY MOUTH.”
December 9th, 2009 at 12:22 am
Don’t worry: According to people who know, Billy is probably not sleeping with Jessica. They probably spend weekends sitting on his sofa, watching foreign movies and/or listening to Brian Eno.
Let’s not trash his all of his choices in women, though (You know exactly why I’m saying that). Also, I’ve met Helena Christensen (sat next to her at a Danish movie once. Lovely girl; she let me glom on her concessions while her boyfriend looked on). I think you could compete. Normally, I would say you’d probably beat her when it comes to obscure pop culture references but, in her case, she’s dated obscure pop culture references so I think you’d wind up tied.
As for C-Love, well…
December 9th, 2009 at 3:01 am
there is no god.
December 9th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Billy Corgan just topped Joe Simpson’s people to kill list
December 9th, 2009 at 10:51 am
What really pisses me off about this potential love match is that one day Billy Corgan will find himself sitting across the dinner table from Pete fucking Wentz. What are those two going to talk about????
December 10th, 2009 at 5:53 am
hmmmm. maybe marrying morons is street cred in la…it’s not like any marriage last longer than 7 years, anyway.
December 10th, 2009 at 10:08 am
The SECOND I heard about this I knew you’d have something to say. Thanks for not disappointing.
December 11th, 2009 at 8:43 am
First off, the term shit nugget has officially made my morning, now that is funny. I always thought Corgan was a huge vag, that is until I found out that he (for some reason) resides in one of the finest little cities in America. St. Petersburg, FL, so he clearly is a man of sophisticated taste and class. The proof is on wikipedia.
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