Something girls know:

For us, formative experiences can usually be cleaved into when I read about it and when I did it.  Kissing, flirting, sex, backtalking, backstabbing, cheating, drinking, smoking, surrendering, getting over it - all of these things were processed with literature between ages 10 - 14, then acted out (with various degrees of success) from ages 14 - … well - now.

Here’s an example:  I remember reading an essay in Erin Cressida Wilson’s book, The Erotica Project, where she has sex in the Gap dressing rooms.  Inexplicably, I thought that was amazingly cool, and convinced myself, somehow, that my sexual growth was incomplete until I banged some guy under a pair of bootcut, dark wash, size 26s.

I still haven’t done it (”it” = the dressing room thing, not sex in general).  But as I’ve grown, and realized the limitations of my spontaneity, I’ve also realized this:

The Gap would be a really wretched, uncomfortable, and omg-I-look-a-little-fat place to try and sneak sex.

Instead, for those actually interested in pursuing this, I would suggest the following places:

Gucci.  Great soft lighting, long black wooden benches, and mirrors absolutely everywhere.  At least in this facet, Tom Ford’s influence still lingers like hot breath on a martini glass.

Agent Provocateur.  Well, if you’re trying on $800 corsets anyway, you might as well get some perks.

Barney’s Contemporary (not young) Designer Floor.  A good amount of space, doors that go all the way down to the floor, and the chance to fornicate in front of Mary Kate and Ashley’s overpriced cocktail dresses for The Row.  I mean, really.

Marc Jacobs.  Because with a Spring collection based entirely on lingerie exploding from someone’s dress, you know the dirty genius would approve (and probably take snapshots to show as a video installation at his next show).

The Adidas Superstore in Soho or Niketown.  For a quickie.

This entry (Permalink) was posted on Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 11:19 am and is filed under Faran's Five Steps. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response , or trackback from your own site.